Author: Aaron Zook

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Relational Control The Decision Sometime in your child’s life, they will make the decision. For some it is cataclysmic, nerve-wracking, and life changing—a significant emotional event. For others, it is a gradual process. But it happens to all children as they grow. What am I talking about? The decision a child makes to strike out on his/her own. Flying the Coop When children depart the home, there is a struggle between the relationships your son or daughter are cultivating and the ones that you as a parent think are optimal. But when the youngster passes… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Informational Control The Information Battle I went to a play one time and as I settled into my seat, a person walked on stage. “You are reminded that this play contains some foul language and sexually suggestive language. Therefore, people seventeen and under should not view this play.” The lady walked off the stage and I wondered what kind of play I signed up to watch. It was a musical comedy called, “Young Frankenstein.” I had seen the movie when I was in my early twenties, when I was not a Christian, and thought it… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Spiritual Control Earlier Is Better Than Later. We’re going to talk about children that are between the ages of twelve and fourteen. But it is much easier to instill spiritual control in your children when they are young. The Gosling – Dr. Dobson’s Insights. Dr. Dobson uses nature, specifically the ‘imprinting’ of a new-born gosling to illustrate this early teaching point. When a young gosling is born, it becomes “attached or ‘imprinted’ to the first thing he sees moving near him. From that time on, the gosling follows that particular object when it moves in… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Physical Control The Adolescent Boy When we pulled into the church parking lot, my mother was steaming because of my unruly behavior in the car. My sisters and brother got out of the car, wisely gliding ahead of me to the safety of the church. “I didn’t do anything wrong.” I looked straight ahead, walking beside my mom.             “When I tell you to do something, I mean it.” Mom’s eyes gave me the once over. She grabbed my hand to walk me into the church. A couple of friends noticed what was happening and… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Verbal Control Have You Noticed? With each Newsletter, the strong-willed child’s age has increased. Why would I do that? I’d like you to have an example of increased response complexity for several different ages as a reference. With that in mind, let’s look at verbal control and the nine or ten-year-old. Tangling with the Tongue To Muddle Your Mind. Some children are verbal from the day they are born. They go from cooing, to words, then short sentences (like “No”), to complex reasoning and refusals. For boys, high verbosity be a little unusual, but some… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Emotional Control Tugging the Heart Strings Imagine a picture of a happy child. Smiles, cute poses for the camera, and a light in their eyes that makes the heart sing! And this confirms what we always knew, that children are a gift from the Lord. But what about the child with the pouty face, the one who sniffs, whines, makes sad, puppy dog frowns, and otherwise makes you feel inadequate, like something you’ve done has fouled up the relationship with your darling offspring? This child wants to play life’s guitar with happy notes one minute… Continue reading

Strong Wills, Strong Parents – Mental Control The Calculating Child In his book, 1Solid Answers, Dr. Dobson is asked if children are “really that calculating about their misbehavior.” His answer? “Some are; some aren’t.” A child’s desire to control their environment is ‘pre-wired’ into their operating system from the moment they’re conceived. Some are more interested in absolute control than others. Dr. Dobson continues his response with a story about a young friend of his, named Earl. This inventive son purposefully manipulated his father into such a driving rage that he came in the room swearing, beating at Earl under… Continue reading